Field names can not be renamed. You can only rename the Alias name, which is only reflected in MXD-documents, not in ArcCatalog. The only workaround is to create a new field with the new name and copy all values to this field, eg using CalculateField tool. Afterwards you can delete the old field. This may take much time, depending on how much rows and fields you want to "rename".
Secondly, joins are only reflected in the MXD-document in ArcMap and are not visible in ArcCatalog. To make the join persistent, you can use the CopyRows tool, exactly as you've written. Another possibility is to use the JoinField tool (available at ArcInfo license level), which copies the field directly to the target table.
Best regards, Stefan