David, I can feel your pain. That will not help you, though, I am aware of it. With this answer I try to give you moral support, I cannot more.
Unfortunately, I experience everyday the same or very similar issues, geoprocessing window stalls, freezes and all you can do about it is to restart the whole operation (and I am not doing any rocket science here).
It is very disappointing for me and I am here even not speaking of fundamental leak of most profound and simple functions in attribute table, which is to my understanding completely useless at the moment. And this moment lasts for years now. And ESRI lets us vote about it.
As you said, it hurts my brain. Altogether with explanations of ESRI staff about why is it so and how good and thoughtful that ### voting is for us small users...
Sadly, I don't have got so much time, to participate in ESRI social games, say user support in their way. I have to work for living in the meantime. Paying and using ESRI GIS software every day.
Keep smiling, hoping for better future!;)