Ellen , is your situation exactly the same? If using 10.4.1, there is a patch that may help ArcGIS for Server Publishing Patch
if using 10.3.1 and SQL, here is another thread with discussion Publishing MapService to ArcGIS Server problem (Slow and cannot publish data from SQLDatabase)
In any case, both you and Jerry (OP) should include a little more detail, if possible. but since this thread is over a year old, you may just want to start a new discussion with you particulars. It will get more response with what issue you might be having.