Actually I got it working...Had an error in another function. Here is the code if anyone ever needs it:
var g1:Graphic=findGraphicByAttribute(parcel);
g1.geometry=pPolygon; //changed from a map point
g1.symbol=parcelFillSymbol;
dispatchEvent(new LayerEvent(LayerEvent.UPDATE_END, myGraphicsLayer));
the function for finding the specific graphic:
public function findGraphicByAttribute( parcel:ClsParcel ) : Graphic
{
for each( var graphic : Graphic in myGraphicsLayer.graphicProvider)
{
if ( graphic.attributes.PARID == parcel.parid)
{
return graphic;
}
}
return null;
}