So, a Data Action is something that requires an extra click, and it's added to the upper-right of the widget.
Here's a mock-up of two maps. The list is configured with the Zoom To and Show on Map actions enabled for the map in the lower-right. The map is ordinarily empty, so the showing and zooming both worked as intended. Note the Data Actions menu expanded in the list.
As you noted, the feature in the bigger map is still selected. When two elements (the map and the list) share a data source, selecting in one selects in the other.
To get the zooming to happen automatically, you need to add a Message Action to your List widget.
That should behave as you intend.
- Josh Carlson
Kendall County GIS