This thread about column definition by code may help : http://forums.arcgis.com/threads/12341-Defining-Results-Datagrid-In-Code-behind
If you need to edit graphic.Attributes and push this change to the server, you need to use FeatureLayer.
Did you eventually solve your issue after looking at this sample : http://help.arcgis.com/en/webapi/silverlight/samples/start.htm#SpatialQuery ? (as suggested in another thread)
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