Yes, No, Maybe So. Three options. Where one is the most desired, one offers a sense of hope, and one remains as the least ideal choice.
The reality of 'No' is that it can often feels like the worst possible outcome, and at times creates a lingering sense of defeat.
A sense of defeat that fosters itself into forms of 'lost opportunity' and 'closed doors'. In the world of education, 'No' can come in the form of college application rejections, denied funding or scholarships, or even a not-so-ideal class registration. And in the world of jobs and careers, 'No' becomes the elephant in the room through the kind words of "We regret to inform you," as well as missed promotions, or perhaps not getting that workday off that you really needed.
As others in Esri's YPN, as well as other job and educational resources and forums have mentioned, 'No' can create a sense of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and a sense that you can't catch a break, or maybe even bring people to the point of giving up.
As the job and educational sectors continue to get more competitive, I have come to remind those who encounter the 'No's' of the world that No, in fact, means No. Sometimes we want clarity, answers, and perspective to help us understand why, or to change the outcome of things. When the reality is: no is no. N-O. When the no's of the world do happen, it is important to remember that life will be okay and all is not world-ending. Even though some life situations do require additional intervention to help reshape ideals, values, and policies toward something better from those no's, what I propose is an approach to what to do when the no's do happen; beyond the great advice that has already been shared here on the YPN blog that helps combat the no’s that come along our own journeys. To recap some of those critical pieces: building personal, educational, and career success can be improved through networking, personal projects related to the subject or role, and enrolling in courses and training materials to help build stronger knowledge and technical skills.
My advice to you all is to keep doing the important self-improvement work toward educational or career success, with the contingency that you balance it with investing in yourself. By that I mean keep doing activities that you personally enjoy to avoid overworking yourself, the feeling of being burnout, and overall missing out on life. Because those negative aspects are what fuel a 'no' into a 'NOOOOOOOOOOO' that feels larger than yourself. So as a reminder, keep a nice balance in life and sprinkle lots of personal joys like traveling, trying new foods, getting into new hobbies, joining a sports club, etc. into your day-to-day lives.
Here are some of the ways I try to invest in my personal interests and joys:
- Traveling with Family ( Upper Antelope Canyon)
- Collecting books from bookstores (and maybe reading them. And no, you may not see my beloved collection.)
- Trying out different coffee shops' seasonal drinks and enjoying the latte art they make ( Matcha Latte from Iris Labs)
- Doodling (Ball Point Pen and Cardstock Are My Current Go To)
As a reminder, Planet Earth is but a speck in the ever-expanding universe. Life is short, and nothing is guaranteed. So, make sure to actually live a life you are happy to call your own, because the reality of 'no' is the reality of getting to know oneself.
Thanks for taking the time to give this a read, and please feel free to share some of your favorite ways you approach living life 😊
