Only Silverlight v1.2 and v1.1 uses Silverlight 3, and those versions doesn't support the new features that ArcGIS Server 10.0 provides.
If you can't use SL4 because you only have access to VS2008, you can use the free VS2010Express edition to develop Silverlight 4 apps with.
Here's basically what the version requirements were:
v1.0: Silverlight 2 and ArcGIS Server 9.3
v1.1-1.2: Silverlight 3 and ArcGIS Server 9.3.1
v2.x: Silverlight 4 and ArcGIS Server 10.0
The following are unreleased but currently planned versions:
v3.0b1: Silverlight 4 and ArcGIS Server 10.1beta1
v3.0b2: Silverlight 4 or 5 and ArcGIS Server 10.1beta2
v3.0: Silverlight 5 and ArcGIS Server 10.1
Note: In most cases you can still use for instance v3.0 with a 9.3 server, and you can use v1.0 with a 10.1 server, but of course you can only take advantage of features that both versions support.